Ellen DeGeneres

First off, if you don't know who Ellen is, you've been living under a rock on Alpha Centauri for you whole life. Go to youtube and enter her name in the searchbox. THAT'S AN ORDER. YOUR LIFE WILL BE FOREVER CHANGED FOR THE BETTER AND WHEN YOU RETELL HER JOKES TO YOUR FRIENDS, YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE TO SAY: "It's so much funnier when she says it."

But you have to promise you'll come back and read this, okay?


I totally forgot what I was going to say. I had it perfectly planned out last night.


I guess I'll finish this tomorrow.


Alright, I'm back. (who cares it took three days, right?)

So, because I like pictures and you might know you know Ellen if you see one:

Ellen main look1

Dat's Ellen.


Dat's a care bear :D

I forgot again, so...yeah. Check back in a few days.

Miraculous! I remembered!

Okay...so as most of you probably know, Ellen has a talk show (called the Ellen DeGeneres Show) that's on every weekday. She's hosting the Oscars this year--have you seen how many commercials they have for that? Like...six! My personal favorite is the one with the dancing and lip-sync and bowtie. She used to to stand up and had two shows (I've kinda watched part of them--they're pretty good :D)

She's married to Portia de Rossi who (legally) took Ellen Degeneres's name--and I have to say...does that mean that Ellen is just Ellen? I mean, if Portia took her name she doesn't have it anymore, right?

Just kidding. That's a bad attempt at humor :D

Anyway...I was at the grocery store the other, and happened to look at some tabloids...and I saw a picture of Ellen on the cover! I read it and I'm like "Cancer? Ellen? Noo!" and then I looked over and saw Obama and I'm like "Obama-Beyonce? NO!" and then I looked in the bottom corner and saw a picture of Portia..."DIVORCE?! GOD NO!"

I panicked. XD Like...actually read the article panic. Um...one, breast cancer is serious for everyone, so that's something all women should get checked out, especially if there's a  history of it in the family. Actually, all cancers are serious and if there's any suspicion of having one, by god get it checked out. It could be nothing, but if it is something and you leave it for too long then there won't be any going back.

Once again, in the grocery store, I saw two Ellen articles! One was in People magazine, the other in the Star...another tabloid, I believe. The People article was one Ellen herself did, and it said some nice stuff :D blah blah it was a good article. I promise. Go read it.

The Star article, which I have yet to read, was about how Ellen and Portia's marriage is in shambles. First: we've heard from Ellen, now let's hear from Portia. I hope these rumors aren't true, and if so Portia shopuld say something against them, on her own, no Ellen present, so that maybe these rumors will stop circulating.

If they are true, IT'S SO SAD. I DON'T WANT MY FAVORITE COUPLE TO BREAK UP. Here's my advice: talk it out. In my ex